It really sticks to ya'

jogging; it's one of the few (futile) things that i do to achieve the body that will make any women swoon and think "i'm gonna go talk with that guy". so far, that phrase has only worked against me as they wander off talking to the nearest guy other than me....

"I don't mind talking to you. i'm sure you have some very interesting stories to make me deeply interested in you. here, my phone number" *sigh* the things i do to keep myself sane....

it goes without saying as fat as i am, i make that extra effort to lose all that flab, and i do so by jogging as much as 3-5 times a week...... not that it helps, seeing as how these love handles are still here...

actual picture of my love handles. this picture was not photoshopped...... ok, i lied. had to erase the background. can't have people know what my room looks like....

and when you jog that much and weigh as much as me, well, it's no surprise a cheap running shoe like mine wouldn't last more than 6 months before the sole completely rips off. so it's off to buying a new shoe right?

BZZZZTTT!

why waste roughly $40 dollars and a whole after noon of jogging to buy a shoe when you've got super glue? been doing this for months, and it fixes EVERYTHING!

BEFORE:


a broken shoe, sides sticking out from the sole. also, freakish hands.

AFTER:

Good as new....

proof i do not have freakish hands... they're just fat!

10 minutes later, i can go out and do my deed....

Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Disappointment....

(this was meant to be written months ago. check the last post as to why it made it out now...)

Remember this?

when it comes to food, if there's anything i like more, it's cheese. it tastes good with everything, and i mean EVERYTHING! don't like tuna sandwiches? add a slice of cheese. don't like salads? add some cheese! no money to buy side dishes and you only have rice, and sliced cheese in the fridge? after crying and cursing yourself for being poor (*sniff*), CHEESE! BBQ? mee goreng? you've guessed it....

now, i'm no big fan of KFC, and not because their food tastes bad, but because the portions can be a bit too much for someone who's trying to lose weight, and really, nothing is as tempting as 2 crunchy, spicy pieces of chicken, gravy and fried rice to skew a fat man into the life of an eternal virgin. that, and it's pricey.

NOT my goal. you see a funny 2005 movie, but i see a warning from "me" from the future in 2024 who time travelled back in time, gave the script to Judd Apatow, all so i may see of what i shall become.....

so when i heard the value meal would only consist of the macaroni and a drink, and at the wonderful price 0f no more than 3 bucks, i said "eh. if $6-7 dollars gives me a big meal that mocks at my futile attempts to lose weight through jogging daily, then maybe at $3, it's just gonna be a reasonable, medium sized meal right? plus them meatballs look like their at a reasonable size to satisfy me."

Fuck you, KFC, fuck you....

it took me more than a week to finally get my hands on the darn thing, mostly because i wasn't aware that there was some specific time to the promo. 5 trips in 9 days, back and forth.... for THIS!? now lemme make this clear first; i have yet to take a bite from the thing when i took this pic, and you probably can't tell from the size, but it's small; kid's meal small. three swipes with my spoon, and done. the taste? not horrible, but it's just goddamn cheap. how cheap?

you'll find these in some shops. they have at least 10 times (i'm exaggerating cuz i'm mad) the servings than the one you get for the chickaroni, of which they skimped on the cheese. I am not kidding; it tastes exactly the same, and this is coming from a guy who made this once without knowing how to make the damn thing. after that, just sprinkle some ayamas chicken popcorn, and there you have it, only in your case, much more satisfying. WHERE WERE MY GIANT CHICKEN MEATBALLS!?

next on the list is misato's udon. didn't take any pics for this one, because nothing says "sad" and "pathetic" than a lone man seating on a lone table taking pictures of his meal in the middle of a crowded food court filled with families and friends sharing their meal time together. after watching all those animes and reading all those mangas (which are NOT helping me escape my fate into becoming a 40 year old virgin....), you just can't help but wonder what all those tasty looking japanese cuisines tastes like...

ok, maybe not ALL....

Udon, was among many that i have come across, and at $6, it can't be that bad, right?

following the theme so far, let me give you an idea what it tasted like; get a bowlful of, say, beef soup, put some noodles in it, and dump the soy sauce in. no, you're not getting me here, dump the WHOLE content of the soy sauce bottle in. that's right, it tasted completely like diluted soy sauce, so much you can feel your balls shrinking. every sip of the brew made me cringe, and yet, i sipped for more. one positive aspect of the experience were the noodles; thick and slimy, so much that the idea of it on the body of a nude girl is a major turn on. and that only floated in my head cuz i had to cope with bad taste of the brew somehow. i'll stick to La Mee, thank you very much....

Misato's udon? might as well gargle this whole bottle down your throat

alas, not all was bad; Misato's beef bowl, considering that you have the stomach space, was a delight (look it me. using "delight" to make me sound like some gourmet critic). though my second time there wasn't as good as my first; the rice wasn't as soft, and somewhat stale and i kinda already had a small meal beforehand which kinda ruined it all.