Excuse me, are you hitting on me.....?

...or do i have something on my face?

since a couple nights back, i can't help but feel how some women are looking at me differently. they don't ignore me (of course, seeing as how some of em' were cashiers, that was something of a job requirement), make fun of me behind my back, or give me that look that screams "Damn! and i thought God couldn't get any worse than Ron Jeremy, now he brought you!". no, rather they've been giving me the playful look. am i just imagining things? you tell me;

Ron Jeremy. You can tell me i could have just cropped his upper half, saving you the urge to gouge your eyes out, but i didn't wanna suffer alone. be thankful i censored it a bit. Now if you'll excuse me, my HD feels dirty saving this pic, i'm gonna have to reformat it...

waiting in line on the cashier, two men were waiting before me. as i wait, i went ahead and got myself a good glimpse of the cashier (no, i don't stare); pretty cute, with her nose being the focus of that cuteness. her reaction to the men before me? silence, her eyes focused on their hands as she grabs they're cash and give they're change. my turn; after making my order, i could see her making that come hither look, as i stare down my wallet, waiting for me to look up and cross her gaze. and when she gave me my change, she announced the amount with a cheerful tone. the exact same sequence also happened over at a convenience store.

now, some men would take this opportunity to strike a conversation, and maybe grab a phone number. i'm not "some men". i'm a nerd. i don't think i'll need to explain to you how nerds react to girls who think they're cute....

courtesy of XKCD

Seriously, that comic pretty much sums up why i don't go struttin' my poetic verbal skills. though it's been a long while since i had a girl of my own, so any remnants of said skills are pretty much rusty by now.

"oh, so you did dated someone before! so, just do the same thing you did to grab her." well, long story short, all that was by accident really. no, not the usual kind that you see in tv, where i bump unto the girl, and she dropped her stuffs, and i helped her pick them up, and our eyes crossed path, and then LOVE. all i did, without even making it my aim to have her give her phone number to me (despite really wanting a GF), was make a few gestures that she found quite cute...... in a forum. yes, i made the dreaded move (found out later during the break up) of hooking up with someone i met in the net. how was i supposed to know she was a Bruneian, and cute to boot despite how ugly she looked in her avatar? never again, i tell you..... though despite saying that, i have the feeling that deep in my gut, between the cheeseburger and takoyaki chocolate slush, my only reason to even make this blog is to make me sound cute and make it all happen again.... interested applicants may e-mail me, so we can devise a plan to re-enact the usual stereotypical scenario mentioned earlier in this paragraph.

For those of you who didn't get it, Chocolate Slush = poop. yay, toilet jokes!

so, yes i have neither the experience nor knowledge to pull off a simple conversation starter, despite watching a lot of movies featuring Adam Sandler (learned to write witty poems from Mr.Deeds, and learned some pick-up lines from 50 first dates). am i afraid of rejection? if horrible memories of me from kindergarten to 3rd grade is of any indication, being bullied and de-humanized by being called fat and ugly may pretty much be the reason why i may have to say "Yes".

Sticks, stones, brass knuckles, crowbars... they'll break my bone and don't really scare me, but dangit, them words sure hurt ....

and if any of you female readers (peh. "readers"? this blog? gotta advertise the place somehow) just felt an ounce of sympathy over that statement, it's called the "bad past" card. like the "tragic past" ("my childhood sweetheart, who was born on the same day and in the same hospital as me, died when i was 11", "my parents were killed in an alleyway mugging", etc.) card, only more believable.

"love is like a taxi; when you really need it, it's never there. when you're not looking for it, it's there in front of you, parked, just waiting for you to hitch a ride."

a paraphrase from a japanese tv drama, if i'm not mistaken. so far in my life, these words have been quite true. i had no intention at all to hook up with my ex, yet it happened. sure, i know for certain that one must make a move to make it all happen, rather than wait for it to drop on your lap like a spoiled child. and, as the Mythbusters Duo would say it, "Failure is ALWAYS an option", using said failures as notes to improve future attempts. i'm gonna put on a Glenn Beck here for a second and say this; screwing up big and seeing someone you really care about cry over it leaves quite the emotional impact. it broke my confidence as a lover and so i need a bit of help here.

so, ladies, the next time you come across a chubby, facial-hair ridden chap, usually wearing a black cap or a snow cap, and you find him kinda cute, just tell him that. no need to beat around the bush. he won't catch it nor will he know how to approach you. Or at least don't be TOO subtle. he finds you as equally as cute as you find him to be.

Lookit' me, Ma! Imma attention whorin'!

well, i'm back here again.... in blogger......blogging.... about something in my life and yada yada yada.... which just ends up to be boring. which i make up by trying to be funny. which doesn't work by the end of it all. *sigh*

this is like one of them typical Vegas moments you see in TV; person gets drunk, and one thing leads to another.... and, well, you know. in my case, a bout of insomnia and a sugar high is the cause of all this. it just takes one simple sentence ("maybe i should blog again?") to fly past my head, and voila; you wake up from your well deserved sleep, staring at your pc screen with your blogger account on it, without even remembering signing up for it. well, here's hopin' this'll lead me to wake up next to a hot chick on my bed without realizin' i'm married to her.

guess the most common thing to do is introduced myself, eh? i go by the name of Bojangles, and i'm not quite sure if i'm proud of the name. i'd use my old and common nicks, but, i prefer to be unrecognizable from some of my old acquaintances. if you're familiar with the name, then i'm sorry to say i'm no tap dancer nor movie performer like good ol' Mr.Robinson, nor do i own a restaurant, a former football player and manager, nor even a hot chick as described by the rapper Pitbull. i do however like the song "Mr. Bojangles".

at 25 years old, jobless, girlfriendless, (except for a small few) friendless, and still a virgin, you really can't blame me if i'm desperate (hitting on girls on the net), jaded, and cynical at certain times. despite all that, however, i'm not here to be emo, though that WILL happen from time to time, mind you ("CRRRAAAAWWWWWLLIIIINGGG IN MY SKIN! THESE BOT-FLY-LARVA WOUNDS, THEY WILL NOT HEEEAAAALLLL). as per title, i see myself a comic (as in a comedian), though not a good one at that, but nevertheless, i'll make you laugh and think..... or at least try to. i should also mention i'm a geek, though not hardcore. so steer away lest the idea of a fat individual, who rants and raves of animes and video games like a foolish man-child amuses you.

oh, hey, i'm also from Brunei, so i guess that makes me Bruneian? for those of you who's never heard of the country, here's an analogy: let's take a blonde girl, rating in at a 6-7, not hot, but date-able. now you're having dinner with her, and she's the almighty chatter box, talking all about Susan at accounting, Bruce from human resource, and other people you don't know nor care. and now you say to her, "You're Boring!". and that's what Brunei's like; just plain boring. aside from eating outside and shopping, not a lot to do here.

about the blog; like every other, there's gonna be daily life "Dear Diary...", rants and raves, reviews of animes, games (outdated ones. me no have Ps3, and stuffs), TV, music, and movies (old ones. not a cinema goer.), and numerous other observations. hopefully, in a funny manner, like a comedian should;

*Seinfeld impression (bad one at that)* "Just what is up with airline foods? i mean, like, you know, right?"

yes, yes, i'll mention it again; i'm a bad comedian. what about it? well, can't think of anything else to say, so i'll sign off from here. hopefully, i won't sign up for Twitter next (gimme strength, Leno, gimme strength). to commemorate the start of this blog, let's party with a song, shall we? go thanks Mr. Colbert for introducing these guys to me: Movits! with their song "Fel Del Av Gården"